Online Dating Nightmares
Posted on 06. Sep, 2007 in Dating Tips, Friends & Sex, Relationships Advice
It was not before a guy had set me a meeting at a bar that my godsister had told me everything she thought about the guys who dated online. I was told that they were not normal, not in their minds and so on, but I figured out the next question, “Why not?” Just because they date online doesn’t mean they don’t walk the streets like all people do, for example. Why can’t I go out with someone I’ve met over the Internet? I can go out with someone whose number I’ve got at a party, in the street or at a mall, can’t I? Anyway, when I started getting online, my intentions weren’t to find a date. All I wanted was to find people to chat with, that’s why I joined an Online dating service and a popular college websites. These online conversations were too changeable: one minute, they were good dreams and the next one, they were nightmares…
Nightmare #1: The name I put him is “Bird”. He was the first guy from the Internet I met. It seemed to me that this man was perfect, I mean he was not only looking great-6’5 tall, brawny and with a smooth skin – he was also working in a record company, and, of course, had to do with a lot of celebrities. He even had photos with almost everyone uploaded on his site. Our first common interests included music as I used to like writing music. Now wasn’t he cool? And then, one day, on my way to work, I met him. He caught my attention because of his height. We have recognized each other and then we smiled. At that time, I was convinced it was fate that has made us meet accidentally in this huge Chicago after two whole months of chatting online and not having set a single date till then. When I have seen him, I raised up my arms and then he spoke to me. I couldn’t believe the disappointment of hearing his squeaky, bird-like voice, but I decided to ignore it. We didn’t converse too long for we were both hurried and decided to set up a date in the future the next time we talk on the phone. The next time I saw him was at a Ludacris concert and the fact that it was accidental the second time made me even more convinced in my thoughts that we were meant for each other. We talked again, now on the crowded dance floor, and then I noticed that he had a lashing mouth, that he was too complaining about everything and, besides, he walked with a switch. While he was admiring with loud voice the way I was dressed, my only thought was when he was going to understand that he was gay.
Nightmare #2: The name of the second guy I met will be “Bath”. All I knew about him was that he worked as a deejay, liked his work a lot and was promising, and that he had graduated from Southern Illinois University. He had a nice neat haircut, he was wearing a cool leather brown jacket and I also liked his teeth. I gave him my phone number after some empty conversations, because I was somehow attracted to him. The next two hours I was called by him four times, which set me off a little, but I ignored it for I thought it was a natural thing for him to want to set a date. We set it in front of Old Navy and decided to go to Portillo’s. Was it a coincidence that while I was waiting for him, I saw there two guys I was once dating, two old friends of mine? I don’t know. I figured out I shouldn’t be that rude as to drive them away and, besides, as I was afraid Bath wouldn’t look like in the photos he sent me, my intention was to ask them to hang around, just in case. But we only exchanged our phone numbers, to be able to keep in touch, and they left. Some time later, Bath had come, tapped me on the shoulder and stopped. He was shorter and bigger than I had expected, but he was good-looking anyway. I realized immediately why he wanted to be a deejay – he liked to run his mouth as water in a bathtub. After we got to the restaurant, he ordered his food, not saying a word about me, paid it to the cashier and when the last one asked him if he wanted to order something else, he simply said, “No”, took his food, sat down and began to eat it in front of me. I could never understand why a man, after inviting a woman to a date, would act like this. His answer to my staring was an amiable invitation “to have some of his fries, if I wanted, because he could see I was hungry”, to which I said, “No” and left. I went to a good friend and got my meal for FREE an hour later. When I got home, the first thing I did was to block his e-mail address, delete him from my friends list and change my phone number.
Nightmare #3: The third guy will be called “Car”. I knew from his words that he was working in a music company, actually he was its co-owner. We talked a few times about hip-hop and then he invited me to a reggae party of his in a club, where I had come with two of my girls. When the deejay announced him, I immediately recognized him, besides, because he was looking like in the photo he gave me. He, in his turn, didn’t know who I was and didn’t recognize me not even after me having approached him to tell that the party was great. All he did was thank me and dance with one of my girls. The next day, he sent me a message and I told him that the girl dressed in maroon at the party last night was me, at what he seemed surprised and set me a date again the next weekend. I found out he was from Bronx and the next moment, he said he didn’t like my real name and that he would prefer to call me “Shorty”. It really turned me down. He told me his life-story about how he left New York, because he wanted to take care of his mother who had suffered a bus accident, that he returned four months later with nothing, because he didn’t take his clothes with him when he left New York and other typical lies. I couldn’t understand why someone would leave to another state without any of his stuff. It means he must have been on a run. What he also did was to claim me as his girlfriend (but we never even kissed), try to make me his taxicab and even tell me he didn’t like my personality, because it intimidated him. How could I have stayed longer with him? Let’s see the next step-Dream # 1…
Dream #1: “Seat” is his name, but, unlike the other guys, he was a good one, that’s why it’s hard for me to call him Nightmare #4. We went to a movie together, then he took me to a restaurant. But the day we went out on a date was precisely Car’s birthday and I was still a little confused about him. Another thing that stopped me from liking Seat was that, when we hugged at the end of the date, he groped my butt, which immediately made me realize what was on his mind.
Nightmare #5: After having to face so many disappointments with the first four “online matches” – Bird, Bath, Car and Seat, it was a little bit hard for me to get back to online dating. This is when I wrote my Top 35 Turn-ons and Turn-offs, with my tolerate-s and not tolerate-s, and let other members of the Online dating service see my page. There was a reply to my posting of the list from a guy, with whom we have had some discussions on instant messenger too. I’ll call this guy “Fat”. Once, I was talking to him on instant messenger and I was going to take a shower, so I told him that I was going to take a break and what I was taking it for. What was my surprise (and let me tell you, my very unpleasant surprise) when I came back in some half of an hour, and he told me it took me too long to take it and that he didn’t know I was fat. For the next half an hour I have fought with him online about his words, and then he told me that it simply was a joke. A week later, we had set out for a date on the beach. That walk on the beach is probably the worst experience I’ve ever had. First he told me that the polish on my toenails was dirty, then he complained about the sand getting on his shoes, then he told me about the mother of his child whom he called fat and about him trying to get custody of his child, and when his telephone rang, like it wasn’t enough, he jumped. In addition, on our way back, the moment I jumped from a rock to another, he made the smartest observation of all that he heard the Earth move. Now that was the last drop, it was a very great offense, because not only was I weighing 145 lbs., but my instructor told me not only once that I was in great shape. It became more obvious than ever that if he tells me these things when I am comfortable with my weight, the day I really gain it, he would be a real jerk. It was no wonder that when we got in silence to his car and he wanted to hug me, I’ve just put out my hand, at what, surprisingly, he looked disappointed. Did he really expect I would thank him for all that he’s said to me?! That same night, we talked by instant messenger, full of arguments about his attitude. At that moment I’ve come to think I would never meet a bigger jerk than him…
Not until I’ve met Nightmare #6-the so-called “Gap”, because he had a gap in his two front teeth. I thought he was absolutely gorgeous from his photo, but when I saw him, I realized he was shorter, he had a bullet wound on his cheek and his white t-shirt was as long as a gown. Still he was good-looking, I would have given him an eight on a scale of 1-10. The next moment, I found out he had a child with a woman, and that he had problems with seeing him, a fact which only reminded me of Fat. I was ready to turn him down, but I felt like his personality was so much like mine and we went out for a couple of more great dates to different shows, at his and my houses and at my favorite place in front of Lake Michigan. We even sat up at nights, watching stars and drinking wine. It was then that I’ve come to think I’ve found the right guy. And then, one of those nights, I found out from him that he was an ex-drug dealer; that the mother of his son was possibly pregnant with another child of his; that his mother was psychotic; his father was living with him, because he was an alcoholic and was fired from his job; and that his sister was deadly ill with some kind of disease. Plus to this, he asked me money for a bus card and for a cell phone, to which I fired him soon enough.
These were my six nightmares and I think they served me as a lesson for good. That was really enough for me. But when I come to think about that guy I’ve met on the other site…
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